14 Ways to Build (and Lose) Trust

Trust is not an abstract, theoretical, idealistic goal forever beyond our reach. Trust—or a lack of it—is inherent in every action that we take and affects everything that we do. Trust is the cement that binds relationships, keeping spouses together, business deals intact and political systems stable. Without trust, marriages fail, voters become apathetic and organizations flounder. Without trust, no person or company can ever hope for excellence.

The truth is, trust must be carefully constructed, vigorously nurtured and constantly reinforced. Although it takes a long time to develop, it can be destroyed by a single action. And once lost, it is exceptionally difficult to re-establish.

Over the years horses have taught me much about how to build trust.  The best lessons probably came from Bunny and Red, two rescue horses that were terrified of people.  In order to build their trust I had to demonstrate consistent, credible behaviour. I had to do what I told them I would do, continually following through and also rewarding and acknowledging them for every action they took that enhanced our relationship.  The truth is that it took a long time to build trust with these horses, but once formed we had an amazing relationship that still exists today. However, I am all too aware of how fragile that trust is and how easily it could be lost.The same principles for building trust with the horses can be applied to building more trustful relationships in business. Here are 14 things to remember when building trust, adapted from Follow Your Conscience by Frank Sonnenberg:

1. Be straight with people. Tell it like it is.

2. Don’t be afraid to present bad news. It’s worse to sweep it under the rug.

3. Remain calm, cool and collected during difficult times.

4. Present both sides of an issue. (Let them judge for themselves.)

5. Be a good listener.

6. Disclose potential conflicts of interest.

7. Even a tiny exaggeration can destroy your credibility.

8. Always tell the truth or the truth will tell on you.

9. Your actions “off-stage” (like at an office party or on Facebook) impact your trust and credibility.

10. “Everybody does it” is a poor excuse for doing it yourself.

11. Learn how to disagree without being disagreeable.

12. Repeating a rumor is as vicious as starting one.

13. People will test you in small ways before trusting you outright.

14. The only thing worse than talking about others is talking about yourself.

If you’d like to learn how to build trust in your organisation then I’d be happy to talk with you because it has been shown that the higher the levels of trust in business the more profitable and successful the business can be.

Want to find out where you are most trusted in business, then take the free assessment here.