You know when you know something, but you don’t know it, that is what has been happening to me recently and it reminds me of the old Zen saying “To know and not to do is not yet to know”. I have known for some time about the importance of developing trust in relationships but it was during an exercise at a workshop with the amazing Jackie Lowe Stephenson and the Spirit of Leadership that the lesson finally landed.
Jackie and her husband Herb do the most amazing transformational work with horses and I was able to spend two days in the company of her and her inspiring herd of horses (which by the way also includes a Zebra, Holly). Jackie’s herd are masters at teaching you about building trust and connection and managing your energy. Approach them with too much energy and they will run away, not have the right intention and commitment, they’ll let you know. Need connection from a place of wanting and neediness and they will not engage with you. They taught me many lessons and reminded me, whilst we were hanging out in the fields, of why we need to lose attachment to the outcome and just be in relationship. Once you just be, rather than do, the relationship can begin.
So for me there are three principles that create the magic formula for developing a great relationship whether with your horse or with your work colleagues.
Bond + trust+ respect = foundations for a great relationship
Without these qualities in place any relationship will falter when put to the test.
My great AHA occurred when I was asked to lead my team with a blind fold on. As a walked around the arena I had to rely on my team-mates to keep me and them from walking into danger. It was a humbling position to be in knowing that I could not do it by myself and needing to trust my team-mates implicitly to keep me out of danger. And it was during this time that I realised that my horse must trust me implicitly. As I take my pony Bracken to new places she has never been before (she is figuratively blind folded) as she does not know what is round the corner. She has to trust me implicitly that I will not take her into a dangerous situation. Now I have spent nearly 21/2 years developing a relationship with Bracken and she does trust me but would another horse. It is an interesting thing to think about.
And for those of you in business I would extend this analogy to what is happening in the workplace. We are living in uncertain time. Change is happening rapidly and as a leader you are continually leading into the unknown (like being blindfolded). The landscape changes on a daily basis so you cannot know all the hazards ahead. All you can do is set the direction and then trust that others on your team will help steer you around the challenges that come up. But what if trust is lacking in your business and you don’t trust your team members. How challenging leadership becomes.
So today, whether at work or with your horse make sure that you create and develop a trustful environment by being true to your character and being competent in your job. Because as Stephen M.R Covey noted the key attributes of building trust are character and competence.
I’d love to hear on the facebook page about how you are developing trust in your relationships
Julia Felton (aka The Business Wrangler) is the founder of Business HorsePower. Business leaders, entrepreneurs and executives hire her to accelerate their business performance by harnessing the energy of their people to work more collaboratively together. By aligning purpose with actions the team achieves exponential results as everyone starts pulling in the same direction.
Julia believes that business is a force for good and through designing purpose-driven businesses that leverage the laws of nature, and the herd, you can create businesses founded on the principles of connection, collaboration and community that make a significant impact in the world.
