by Julia Felton | Jun 1, 2011
Last week I shared a blog that my mentor Carolyn Resnick had written on boundaries. This is a subject close to my heart and you might recall me writing about my experiences of setting boundaries with my little yearling, Bracken. Increasingly I’m finding more and more of my clients struggling with the issue of setting boundaries. A boundary is a limit or rule you set on how you allow others to treat you. Our boundaries help define who we are and how we want to be treated. They tell others what we will and won’t accept.
When you don’t set boundaries, a bunch of problems show up for you. The first is the problem of anger. If you have problems with feeling angry, resentful or irritated by others much of the time, or if the intensity of your anger is beyond what is really called for by the situation, you probably don’t set and enforce boundaries. Why? Because anger is a normal reaction when someone violates your boundaries. Whether the issue is someone walking all over you and treating badly or just cutting you off in traffic, anger is one of the ways we react when our boundaries have been violated. When you don’t set boundaries, that anger festers, and eventually explodes. (Think of the buildup of pressure in a volcano if you want to know how this works).
The second problem is another emotion–hurt. The emotion of hurt is also a response to having your boundaries violated. If you are someone who feels hurt by others, you probably are not enforcing your boundaries. Whether you are being rejected by others or just have your feelings hurt from time to time, you may not be enforcing your boundaries in a way that tells people how to treat you the way you deserve.
A boundary is like a rule. You are telling others what the rules are about how they act around you. When you tolerate bad behavior, you are allowing others to treat you badly. Usually, you are not enforcing your boundaries. In some cases this ends in physical abuse and actual physical injury. In others, the abuse is verbal and emotional, and the injury is to self-worth and self-esteem. Often it is the very people we love and who claim to love us who violate our boundaries in the worst ways. We don’t do ourselves or them any favors when we tolerate it.
Love certainly complicates boundary issues. Often people erroneously believe that if they love someone they don’t have to set boundaries. They may believe that they shouldn’t ever say “no” or that they should share everything. Wrong. It is important to set boundaries with those we love. Think for a minute about your children or your horse. Despite the fact that you love your 3 year old, you won’t allow him to have chocolate instead of meals, stay up all night or choke his baby sister. Your love for him makes you set boundaries on how he behaves. The same is true for your horse. Not setting boundaries allows your horse to walk all over you and this can become dangerous.
To tackle boundary issues, first of all, we need to be willing to set boundaries. We need to be willing to tell others how we want to be treated. But it isn’t just how we want to be treated. For us to set boundaries, we need to communicate that the boundary is about how we demand to be treated. For some people, telling them is enough. They may have violated your boundaries because they didn’t know how you wanted to be treated. They didn’t know what was important to you. Once you tell them, they do their best to comply.
But sometimes you can set boundaries, and others won’t respect them. In those cases, you have to enforce them. What that means is that you have to stand firm. Just as when your child throws a temper tantrum in the grocery store to get a candy bar, people in your life will “temper tantrum” about your boundaries. They do this by ignoring them, or by telling you how unreasonable you are to have set them in the first place. They hope that you’ll give it up and let them do what they want to do. Sometimes they use “emotional blackmail,” trying to make you think that they won’t like you if you enforce those boundaries. But you have to do it anyway.
One important thing to know is that you don’t have to get angry when you enforce your boundaries. You can simply make statements. “I don’t like it when you____________.” “I’m not going to stay here and allow you to treat me this way.” “It isn’t OK to do that.” You need to be firm, but you don’t have to shout or be angry. If you feel determined about setting your boundaries and making them stick, other people will understand that you mean it and that you will follow through.
After all, that is what setting and enforcing boundaries is all about–following through and demanding that others treat you the way you want to be treated.
Adapted from Linda Pucci – Inner Resources
by Julia Felton | May 25, 2011
The way I see it, women approach leadership and horses a lot differently than men do. As children in our imaginary games riding Pegasus, Pegasus reads our minds and takes us to enchanted places. Girls are attracted to Pegasus from their desire to experience a magical connection through a magical ride; while boys grab their broomstick, and ride to a destination that they tell their imaginary horse to go.
My method address horses more like a woman of course because I am wanting a relationship with a horse more than any service I might get from the horse. The service I do receive from the horse is a way to enjoy our connection from a co creative process. It turned out that in competition, my method could hold up to any other method that was not interested in developing a friendship from the training process.
I have seen methods that are driven by a dominant approach through a masculine energy develop friendship with a horse, but the horse had to give up the ability to say “no,” or the power to change the subject, or have any say in the matter of his training at all. The masculine intent was not to abuse the horse in the best of circumstances, but never considered the relationship with a horse as a love interest that women do.
This caused a lot of woman to become unsatisfied with how horse training methods were applied to horses. The fact was that there was no choice in the matter if you were the horse.
It did not satisfy me. I see the treatment of horses to be abusive even in the nicest approach. The reason is that the method is brought to the horse whether the horse wanted it or not.
Masculine energy uses directive leadership and feminine energy uses supportive leadership. Women prefer not to get involved with leadership if they can help it, which is too bad because women are very good in the leadership role if they give their self half a chance.
Women understand something that men still need to consider- and that is leading a horse is part of a co creative process. They also believe that this co creative process is capable of producing the best performance. And that for leadership to really work out- you will need to follow your horse more than you will be leading him in the beginning to create a bond and a willing partner. Once you get this done, a horse will do just about anything for you without a lot of manipulation to get him to do it.
Where women fail to connect with a horse is created from their not understanding how to set up clear boundaries. It is a puzzle piece that is the missing ingredient in feminine energy. A woman has a tendency not to know when to allow, when not to allow, what to allow, what not to allow -and that to gain leadership and respect, boundaries must be flexible to be able to train the horse to have a desire to follow your lead over his own. How I do this through my Waterhole Rituals is by empowering a woman through many activities surrounding intimate interactions with a horse because that is when women are most comfortable. We are all about the bond and the heart felt connection. After we have made this connection, we can do just about anything -just from our natural instincts as supportive partners which comes very naturally to us.
When a woman learns how to gain leadership from using flexible boundaries she finds that leadership isn’t something she needs to demand from a horse. Once the boundaries are understood, horses have a strong desire to naturally follow your lead. This is very simple really. This is achieved from the horse working around your wants and needs that take place in regards to you personal space, and how you are feeling in the moment. Horses and women know how to work around each others needs in a partnership.
I have seen that when a woman learns that she is solely responsible for her own personal control of her personal space that all of a sudden, she sees how to use this way of being into her relationships in her life, and in affairs of the heart. She begins to turn the table on her life, and receive more respect and better treatment in all relationships. It is just a small puzzle piece we need to gain.
Masculine and Feminine and Vice Versa
In human beings there is both male and female energy. To really have the optimum dance with a horse requires that those energies are in balance, and used in a positive way. Both energies need to work at the appropriate times supporting each other in leadership. A horse needs a much higher percentage of female energy than male energy. However, as the relationship grows to a fine art of dancing, male energy creates the ultimate dance when the desire to be led, and to dance is the complete focus of the horse.
In Closing
We are all puzzle pieces and we need each other to be fulfilled. I believe what I have to offer is strengthening feminine empowerment through feminine leadership by giving women the ability to know what to allow and what not to allow, when to allow and when not to allow. Women by their nature are missing this puzzle piece to be truly empowered in the world of business and affairs of the heart. A woman’s power lies in their innate knowledge that leaders must follow the follower more than the follower ever needs to follow the leader in order to reach harmony in a working partnership.
There is a formula to a working partnership where both male and female energy create the perfect world. My understanding is that the map that you follow is the formula to achieving your goals. There are patterns to be followed that lead to goals. These patterns are thrown out because of people wanting short cuts. Our journey needs to always be a study and lessons of our personal growth as we are reaching for our goals. This way, the journey stays sacred, and our ethics and morals and our heart are not destroyed by the goals that we set for ourselves. We are now out of balance. We now are aware that we are. Horses show us where fairness lies and guide us to our strengths and our missing parts and show us how to obtain our goals for the ultimate connection we are longing to achieve when we give them freedom to be who they are to lead us there.
Posted by my equine mentor Carolyn Resnick on www.carolynresnickblog.com
by Julia Felton | May 6, 2011
So apologies for not blogging much (at all) last month but time just seemed to fly by. With the weather improving I have managed to spend more time with the horses and as usual they have been teaching me more lessons than sometimes I wanted to learn.
The first lesson I have been reminded of by my horses is for the need to plan ahead (perhaps if I had done that I might have managed to get in the odd blog). Last month my horses threw me a few curve balls by all getting sick at the same time when I was away teaching in Dorset. Maybe if I had had some contingency plans(a Plan B) things would have been less stressful for us all. When faced with challenges such as I experienced my practical side takes over and I just get on with things, but what I was reminded of is how for others that transition is not so easy. They find it difficult to move to plan B and whilst I moved there quite effortlessly my inability to communicate clearly to them made this transition challenging. Maybe if I had planned ahead more, then things would have been easier for everyone.
I recently came across this acrostic from John C. Maxwell regarding the importance of planning ahead which I just love.
P – predetermine your course of action
L – lay out your goals
A – allow time for adjustments
N – notify key personnel
A – allow time for acceptance
H – head into action
E – expect problems
A – always point to the positive
D – daily review
I think this sums up so brilliantly the best way to approach anything in life. Particularly it reminds me that we should expect problems. That’s normal but all too often we get discouraged and give up. Focus on the positive at all times because when we are immersed in a project we all too often forget to acknowledge all the success that we have had along the way. A daily review is a great way to keep on track but at the end of the day all great plans will stay that way unless you take action. I’m reminded of John Assaraf once telling me “are you taking action Julia or are you living on hopeium”. We are hope for anything we want but unless we take action to translate those plans into something nothing will change.
So my question for you today is are you living a Hopeium Life or are you taking action to PLAN AHEAD. As always comments are welcome.
by Julia Felton | Mar 30, 2011
As Spring breaks, the days get longer and daffodils begin to blossom I am reminded of the first time I learnt about the concept of expansion and contraction from Chris Attwood at the Masters Gathering in San Diego in June 2009. In essence what Chris said is that at every point in life there are expansion and contraction points. Just think of the seasons. Spring and Summer are the seasons of expansion (growth and development) whilst Autumn and Winter are seasons of contraction (of slowing down and resting). Just like the Ying Yang one can’t exist without the other and so it is in business.
There are times when your business flourishes and grows and times when it stagnates (to recuperate and rest). The challenge for most of us is when the contraction happens we give up, but this is just one of nature’s cycles. Roger Hamilton summarises this analogy in his book “Wink”. There is a season for planting and a season for reaping. Furthermore, he goes on to discuss the Law of Gestation. The seeds you plant must be given time to develop and mature before you can harvest them. How often in business do we get impatient and reap too early? I know I do. So as we move into Spring consider your business life cycle and make sure you don’t pull up your seeds before they are ready.
Recently I have been rather busy and not paying my lovely ponies Bracken and Thistle the attention they deserve. I’m been rushing, never stopping – acting in an expansive state. The one sure thing that Thistle has been teaching me is to slow down and wait. What I cause the pause. She does this by stopping when I lead her to the field. She just plants her feet and refuses to move until I slow down. The more I try to encourage her forward the more stubborn she becomes. I now realise if I pause (take a breath) and wait she will then move forward. So leading her has become a game – like the ebb and flow of the sea.
All too often in life out of desire for instantaneous results and goal orientation means that we fail to pause. To survey what is around us and reflect on what is happening. Thistle has been teaching me the value of this because it is in the pause that great magic can occur. How and when will you pause today?
by Julia Felton | Mar 10, 2011
Last night I attended an amazing Scanners event hosted by John Williams and Selina Barker – if you have never been along I would thoroughly recommend it, especially if like me you have loads of ideas but can’t seem to get started on any. One of the subjects we were discussing was time management. Now you might think this is a boring topic but not the way that John and Selina describe it. If like me the thought of getting started on a new project is so over-whelming that you never start, then Selina gave us this great idea. She called it Micro-Blocking and the premise is that if you clear your diary for 20 mins and just work uninterrupted on that one thing you will be amazed at how much you can achieve. You see, 20 mins is achievable for most of us, and usually it is the getting started that is the problem. So if you think you only have to do the task for 20 mins you are more likely to commit to this – and as we all know some action is better than no action.
One of my challenges however, having put that appointment in the diary with myself is actually keeping it. Just writing this blog is taking me way too long as I am continually being interrupted. Whose fault is that? Selina summed this up well by saying are you being pro-active in managing you life or are you being re-active and just responding to the environment around you. I remember well one of my coaches saying that you create the environment around you. Here I am creating an environment of chaos by being so reactive.
So what does this have to do with Horse Lessons for Life? Well it reminded me of the question on the home page of my Equine Inspired Leadership website “Are you leading your life or is your life leading you?” We all have the ability to be leaders of our lives and yet few of us do. We allow ourselves to become wrapped up in the situation around us, re-acting to everyone elses stuff and not taking control of our own destiny. Horses show us how to be leaders of our own lives and give us feedback on how we are doing. I discussed how they do this in a previous blog.
So for today please let me know whether you are leading your life and being pro-active or is your life leading you as you react to the circumstances surrounding you.
by Julia Felton | Mar 6, 2011
You know when you hear something more than once in a few days you really should check in it, well that’s just happened to me. On Thursday at the Academy of Chief Executives Mark Fritz was talking to us About the Power of Ownership in Leading Across Distances and Cultures and during his amazing seminar he told us we should check out a TED video by Simon Sinek on Leadership. Then I find out my friend Jezz Moore, from Moon Cow, has tweeted the same thing. Synchronicity working or what, but given I’ve been hit with with twice in as many days I felt compelled to watch the video. You can see it here at:
http://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action.html
What inspired me most about this video was the fact that we all need to begin with our WHY. For the last few years I’ve been told by many mentors and coaches that WHY is the most important thing. When you are clear on your WHY then all subsequent actions like HOW and WHEN will fall into place. Personally, I’ve been struggling to find my WHY – although day by day it becomes clearer. One of my coaches has told me that reason for my inaction is that WHY is not strong enough. One thing that I have observed is that many of the great teachers and successful business people in this world have really strong WHY’s, in many cases driven from a state of despair due to financial ruin or serious health concerns. I find it kind of sad that it takes a serious personal experience for people to become clear on what their WHY is. Surely we don’t need to all reach these depths of despair to be successful.?
What Simon Sinek so clearly articulates in this video is the Golden Circle that starts at the centre with WHY, then contains another concentric circle with HOW and finally a concentric circle with WHAT.
Sinek suggests that really successful organisations and people (such as Apple) start with their WHY. They inspire others to do business with them because they have the same beliefs. Apple do not pitch their advertising based on WHAT they do but rather WHY they do it. This is why they can sell computers, phones and music and no-one doubts the authenticity of the company. Compare this to Dell who like many other companies focus their advertising strategy of the WHAT. Dell make computers and now we are so embedded with the fact that this there is core competency that we can’t conceive of purchasing same a phone or and MP3 player from them.
Furthermore Sinek goes on to explain that purchasing decisions are based on biology not psychology and that the WHAT appeals to the neo-cortex of the brain which controls rational thought whereas the WHY and HOW align with the limbic system The limbic system is concerned with trust and loyalty and decision-making that drives behaviour. So by appealing to a consumers WHY you instantly put them in a place where the buying decision can be influenced by the limbic brain.
So how does this lead onto today’s lesson from the horses. It is just that when a horses meets you he is asking three things:
- who are you
- what do you want; and
- how do you operate.
In this way he is concerned with what is happening in our limbic brain. A horse is also always looking to us to determine our ability to lead. Are we trustworthy and reliable? From this state of why the horse can quickly make that decision on how best to interact with us. Maybe this is why horses are so good as Teachers. They make sure we stay out of our thinking, rational neo-cortex brain and force us to be congruent with who we really are. They challenge our WHY and who we think we are. Invariably in coaching sessions clients have AHA experiences as they realise who they thought they were and how they are acting are incompatible. Horses challenge our WHY are therefore our integrity and congruence and since they are non-judgemental they just feed back what they experience. It can be an eye-opening experience for most people.
So for today spend some time considering what is your WHY. Why are you on this earth and what is your purpose in life. If you need some help here some great resources that I have found really helpful are The Passion Test by Chris and Janet Attwood and Success DNA Detector which can be found on http://www.authorityformula.com/
I’d love to hear your comments below on what your WHY is.
by Julia Felton | Feb 22, 2011
Today’s blog is inspired once again by the behaviour of some horses and the wise words of John Assaraf. I’m currently following John Assaraf’s the Inner Game of Money programme which involves re-conditioning the neural pathways of the brain to be more accepting of money. Research has shown that our outer circumstances are dictated and created by our inner being, belief and thoughts. So if you believe that you should be poor you will be poor. However, by focusing on being wealthy you can attract wealth creating opportunities into your life. This is a 90 day programme and I am on day 69.
On one of the audio tracks John describes the tenacity of young children. They set their sights on a goal and do everything in their power to achieve it. Obstacles are no problem as children just overcome these any way they can. Ironically despite the fact that adults have many more resources available to them they seldom have the tenacity and determination that children do to achieve their goals. When I first heard this I was mesmerised by this observation as it is so true. As adults we see all the barriers and reasons why we should not do something rather than look for creative and innovative ways to solve the challenge. It’s as if ignorance as a child is bliss as you are unaware that something is not possible. Indeed if you believe that something is impossible you create that reality and indeed it is impossible.
This reminds me of a story I heard once of a young man who turned up late to a maths class. On walking in late he saw two maths problems on the board and thinking they were homework he wrote them down and then fastidiously worked on solving the problems. A day or so later he went to his teacher and delivered to him the answers to the questions. The teacher was dumbstruck. You see the two maths problems on the board were not homework but rather examples on unsolvable problems. The young man being unaware of this fact, and having no preconceived idea that the problems were not solvable had approached the challenge in a different manner and been successful. How often in life do we fail to achieve things because we believe that they are not possible. Who put that mindset out there for us to use as our reference point. In fact ignorance can on many occasions equate to bliss as you have no limitations on what is possible.
So back to my horse lesson. This was so funny it made me laugh out loud. You see I have recently adopted two ponies that had been left abandoned to roam on the roads. I’ve called them Thistle and Bracken and they now form part of my little herd, at least until they have gained some trust in people again and have been given the skills to be safe,child friendly ponies. Well Thistle and Bracken are young, maybe a year old at most and they are currently grazing in a roped off area of field within one of my larger pastures. The grass in their area is good but the grass on the other side of the fence is much better. So this afternoon when I went to get the ponies in they decided to go for a run. They galloped round and around the field, their energy ever-increasing. As they galloped towards the electric fence (a natural barrier to the lush grass on the other side) my heart was in my mouth. I was worried they might crash into the fence although instinctively I knew they would probably skid to a stop. How wrong was I. Seeing the electric fence Bracken effortlessly jumped over it. The fence was at least a metre high and Bracken can’t be more than taller than that. Bracken clearly hadn’t seen the fence as a barrier to the lush grass but rather as an obstacle to be overcome, however that might be. Thistle however took a different approach ploughing straight through the fence and breaking it. It was so heartwarming to see these little ponies being so tenacious in their quest for the best grass. They had no pre-conceived ideas that they could not get over or through the fence and so faced with a challenge tenaciously moved forward. I would suggest that tenacity is perhaps the magic ingredient missing from the lives of many adults today. What do you think?
by Julia Felton | Feb 20, 2011
Yesterday I was fortunate to have the opportunity to attend an Equine Facilitated Learning training day with Andrew McFarlane of LeadChange. Andrew has been one of my mentor during the last year whilst I have been establishing Connect-2-Success, my own Equine Inspired Leadership programme. These days are great opportunities to connect with others in this niche sector and also to get some great coaching from the horses.
As readers of my blog will know I believe that horses can be the best teachers of life lessons and yesterday was no exception. Whilst being coached I decided my main coaching outcome was to have fun. I’m acutely aware that running my own businesses I get so wrapped up in what is happening that I forget to enjoy the journey. I remember once my equine mentor Carolyn Resnick telling me “Make sure you enjoy the journey Julia as the destination may not be all you had hoped it will be, and therefore you will be disappointed”. How often do we focus on the end result (destination) and fail to enjoy the process? I know in my experience all too often especially when I was working in a corporate role. We become transfixed by the outcome and fail to notice the successes and achievements along the way. We become tunnelled vision and derive no pleasure from the process. How unfulfilling and boring life can be if we live this way.
So back to my coaching session. There I was intent on having fun with this pony called Prince, and he was well up for having fun too, we were running round the arena like a couple of kids and enjoying ourselves. Suddenly, Andrew asked me to get Prince to half pass along a pole that was on the ground. This meant I needed to get the horse to move horizontally across the pole from left to right. The pole was between Prince’s back and front feet and he needed to cross his back legs and then his front legs so he could move horizontally – no mean feat. I had no idea if Prince (or indeed if I could do this) so I immediately went into task mode. Dissecting the movement into steps and asking for his hind feet to move and then his front feet. Much to my surprise we managed to half pass half the pole and I was delighted. Then Andrew asked me “How much fun was that?” In all honesty, none. My desire to prove I can do the task meant that I forgot about having fun. Reflecting back on my life I realise that virtually every time I focus on a task I forget to have fun. And let’s face it what use is living if there is no fun. So my mantra for this month is to ensure that I have fun in whatever I’ve doing.
Maybe it’s no surprise that I currently enrolled in a programme called “Screw Work, Let’s Play”. It’s all about doing what you love and having fun doing it. For the next 30 days we have to execute a play project – something we love to do and have fun with – that stretches us. Before my experience with Prince I had come up with an idea to write an e-book but now I realise I only chose that because it is something I need to do, not because it will be fun. So I’m back to the drawing board to figure out what fun looks like for me. So whatever you are doing, make a wise choice and have fun doing it because I’m sure you might regret it if you don’t.
I’d love to hear your comments on what constitutes fun for you.
by Julia Felton | Feb 12, 2011
Todays blog has been inspired by one of my clients that I was coaching this week. Let’s call the client Susan. Well Susan had just had a big row with her partner and as a result was feeling sad and angry. She just wanted to left alone and so she decided to go for a walk. There was light drizzle in the air and she ambled around the farm that she called home. She could hear the bird song in the background as her mind replayed the argument in her head. She was upset by how she had let her boyfriend manipulate her again and make her feel unworthy.
Without thinking her walk ended up taking her to the field where her horses lived. Susan heart lifted at the sight of her horses grazing silently in the field. Part of her wanted to join their herd for the safety and security they brought and yet at the same time she felt anxious about letting her horses see her when she was in this emotional state. Susan had always been taught that she needed to be strong around her horses and display strong leadership. She did not want to bring them the negative energy that she was experiencing and yet her feet drew her into the field. She climbed the fence and then found a log and sat down, sharing territory with her horses, something she had done many times before.
For two weeks Susan had been sharing territory with her horses and they had just ignored her. They acknowledged her presence as she entered the field but just kept themselves to themselves, grazing quietly and never interacting with her. However, today things were very different. After ten minutes her trusted elder horse came over, totally unprompted, and just stood next to Susan. Susan said it was just as if the horse knew she needed support and was totally willing to be there for her with no expectation. For Susan the realisation came that she did not always need to be strong but could show vulnerability and that was fine.
Susan’s story touched me profoundly as I recalled how many times in the past I have put on that armour of bravery when in fact I was in need of help. I’ve seen this happen numerous times in the corporate world, particularly leaders, who often think they should have all the answers. Well the reality is that when we let out guard down and show people that as leaders we too are vulnerable we can drastically improve our likeability to others. Somehow we are no longer aloof, we become approachable human-beings and this helps us form connections with others.
So my thought for today is that if you are feeling vulnerable do not think that this is necessarily a sign of weakness. Share your concerns and fears and you might be amazed at the level of support that you will receive. As always I’d love to hear your comments.
by Julia Felton | Feb 1, 2011
Life lessons come in many forms and this week has been no exception. All week we have been introducing the three horses in our herd to two new friends. They have been meeting daily over the fence like getting to know each other before we eventually put all five horses in the field together. Watching their behaviour over the past few days has been amazing. My older horse, Toby, who is currently the leader of his group, has been over-dominant with the new horses. Snorting and really establishing himself as the head honcho in charge of everything. He has actively been stopping his best friend, Charlie, engage in any way with the other horses. It has been so tiring watching him all day preventing Charlie from going near the other horses. He has to be aware all the time where Charlie is and then move him in the other direction. Charlie, I sense, is really bord of this but quietly acquiesces as he is not the type of horse to engage in confrontation.
There antics remind me strongly of the challenges that come about when two companies integrate. One group often wants to dominate and acts in an assertive fashion whilst the other group complies, not having the strength for the battle right now. Like Charlie they decide to go with the flow until things settle down. What to me is interesting is that Toby’s dominant behaviour is not his natural state and in fact I would go so far as to say that the only way he is behaving this way is because he is scared. Scared of losing his friends and his position in the herd. And I bet that is what happens when companies merge. Fear drives behaviour as we want to maintain security and keep things just the way they are. Yet we all know that without change no organisation or individual will develop and grow.
My own experiences of being part of a corporate merger comes from when Andersen UK (formerly Arthur Andersen) was acquired by Deloitte UK following the Enron fiasco. Whilst with hindsight the merger went relatively smoothly there were power plays occurring all over the organisation as each company vied to maintain their system and solution because it was better than what the other party had. What was interesting was the way that some people ran scared. Afraid of what might happen they sought to surround themselves with allies who could ensure that they would be protected – in much the same way that Toby is protecting himself by controlling Charlie’s loyalty to him. However, in the end was this strategy effective. Possibly in the short-term, but in the long-term I would suggest not as people (just like Charlie) do not want to be manipulated. I’ll be really interested to see what develops over the next few weeks and to see whether Toby’s strategy pays off or if it will come back to haunt him.
Have you ever been involved in a corporate merger/take over and if so how did it go. Love to read your comments below.
