If you want to get the best from your team you need to learn to connect, engage and communicate with them. Even if this isn’t your natural bent, you can learn to do this. In fact, the reason I’m writing this post today is because one of my clients said to me this week “Julia, one of the things I appreciate about you is that you’re so good at asking questions. I’m not. That’s just not how I’m wired.”
To which I responded, “Thanks for the compliment, but I’m not wired that way either.” Learning to use questions to lead isn’t a natural ability for most of us, it’s an acquired skill. And it’s not that hard to do on a skill level, it’s only hard on an implementation level. So, here are a few ideas to help you get started on unleashing your inner questioner.
1. Learn to see yourself as a developer of talent, not the boss. At the end of the day, most of us like to be tellers because we see ourselves as “the boss.” When we own the boss hat, most of us like to be in the teller role (I hired you. I pay you. Do what I tell you to do). And as long as we own that mindset, we’ll struggle with asking questions. However, if you can make the mental shift from boss to talent developer, you’ll begin to see your role completely differently (which is key because talent developers create leverage, whereas bosses don’t).
2. Make questioning your first response. I know this may feel pedantic, but when someone asks you a question, ask them a question back. Refuse to just give the answer (something that most of us who are male will always struggle with :-). Instead, when someone asks, “So, what do you think I should do?” throw it back to them, “First, tell me what you think you should do?” If they say, “I asked you first.” Just respond, “Well, how do you think I’d respond?” Return question for question. As hard as this is, don’t give the first answer. This was something I was challenged with when working in my corporate role, but asking questions helps team members become more resourceful and ultimately take more responsibility for their actions. In today’s world of mobile communication it is just too easy for team members to abdicate any responsibility and just ask their boss. But this does not help us develop leaders of the future.
3. Open your team conversations with questions. Instead of saying, “Pete, we have a problem here. And here’s what I want you to do.” Open the conversation with a wide open question. “Pete, as you know, we have a problem here. What do you think is creating it?” Or, “What’s your best thinking about how to solve this?” Or, “Do you have any ideas about how we can eliminate this in the next 30 days?”
Yes, there is an art to asking good questions (for example, wide open questions are better for creating independent thinkers), but what’s more important is that you embrace the principle that being a questioner is a better leadership choice than being a teller. Once you do that, you’ll acquire the skill set over time through trial and error. But you’ll never get there if you don’t embrace this concept as a core leadership practice.
So do you? Do you really believe that being a leader who leads through questioning is better than being a leader who leads by telling? I hope so because the choice you make will have profound consequences for you and your company for years to come. So, choose wisely! Remember,
“If you want to get the most from your people, then you need to draw the best that is in them—out of them.”
By the way, if you’re thinking, “But asking questions sure takes a lot more time than telling,” then you probably don’t own the idea that a leader isn’t a boss, a leader is a talent developer who leverages the time, talent, treasures, resources, intellectual property and connections of their people to produce a result.
Oh, and one last thought. This principle and practice holds true whether you are leading a two person team or a two thousand person team.
Go forth and ask better questions so that you can connect, engage and communicate.
Julia Felton (aka The Business Wrangler) is the founder of Business HorsePower. Business leaders, entrepreneurs and executives hire her to accelerate their business performance by harnessing the energy of their people to work more collaboratively together. By aligning purpose with actions the team achieves exponential results as everyone starts pulling in the same direction.
Julia believes that business is a force for good and through designing purpose-driven businesses that leverage the laws of nature, and the herd, you can create businesses founded on the principles of connection, collaboration and community that make a significant impact in the world.
